Up till recently, I thought that its only the men, who cheat, break families and make the biggest, foolish and irrational mistakes. Further more I believed that Men are the Idiots who do not take responsibility for it. I do sound like a feminist here, don't I? But I am not and you would get to know once I write and you read further.
This realization came with a friend's help. It's interesting to know such men who are totally opposite to what I think of them. Obviously such nice men do exist, one of them being my husband as well. But here, the case pertains to someone else. Obviously the detail cant be talked about as it's about trust and friendship here. But the essence and the discussion can surely be put forth.
So here we are actually talking about a person (a female to be precise coz we treat men like animals when such a topic arises) who has acted like all the idiot men out there do to ruin their family, relationships and everything that they have for something shallow, short lived and probably not even true.Clearly we are referring to someone who has cheated and betrayed the very people who love her the most.
There were several questions that came to my mind. The very first question was:
Why would she do something like that? There's no further question added to this part rather, this one just comes out naturally. Your brain doesn't even have to think about it before putting it out there. And most importantly this question was formed like that because it was about a woman and not a man- it's a fact. If it would've been a man in question here, we ( in particular I ) would've simply generalized it about the whole male population on the planet earth. So, here comes the first part of my Hypocrisy.
In a general discussion with my husband, I told him before knowing the whole story that this definitely would have had to do with the guy making the mistake & he as usual after listening to me patiently gave me a curt question to answer. Are you sure?
I seriously didn't have any reply. But in the subconscious mind, I was pretty confident that I would be right. Well, we'll talk about my confidence on this topic later. Let's just say this much for now!
After much deliberation and after finding out the whole story, I realized that my confidence was surely to be shattered.
Obviously after knowing the story, there were different kinds of questions coming to my mind again. What was the reason that she did it, was she not happy in the relationship? Was she not getting the love and affection and everything else that was needed in the relationship. What was it that made that lady, sacrifice her family, her kids and everything else that came with it? What was it that made her take such an irrational step in her life? What was it after all?
During the process of all these questions going through my head, I had one question pop and pose itself as the biggest one for me! and the question was that Why was I asking these questions in the first place? Why was I trying to justify the wrong she did? Why? Was it because I am woman and have always believed in the righteousness of women and that men are the ones who always do wrongs in a relationship? What was it that was making me give the women at large this liberty! Well, this by far was the biggest and toughest part of the whole thought process. Why does a woman get a chance to justify and give her reason when she cheats and not a man. Why does it become about just sex when it comes to a man and emotions when it comes to a woman??? This by far was the question that made me accept that we give unfair advantage to women when it comes to cheating.
Women do cheat ( I am sure, they are humans too after all ;)) but we always/generally have the soft questions for them to justify their act.What was missing in your relationship, why were you not happy? Were you Not Happy in the relationship? Were you not treated well in the relationship? etc etc etc.
Do we ever ask the Men, such questions? I don't know and I definitely doubt that. It's not about the statistics here, I am sure I have women like me out there, who would give an excellent argument about the statistics and what % of men cheat versus the women. But it isn't about the population at large, its about that person making the mistake! Isn't it. It's about what that person did to you, to the world and life you made with him/her.
This realization came with a friend's help. It's interesting to know such men who are totally opposite to what I think of them. Obviously such nice men do exist, one of them being my husband as well. But here, the case pertains to someone else. Obviously the detail cant be talked about as it's about trust and friendship here. But the essence and the discussion can surely be put forth.
So here we are actually talking about a person (a female to be precise coz we treat men like animals when such a topic arises) who has acted like all the idiot men out there do to ruin their family, relationships and everything that they have for something shallow, short lived and probably not even true.Clearly we are referring to someone who has cheated and betrayed the very people who love her the most.
There were several questions that came to my mind. The very first question was:
Why would she do something like that? There's no further question added to this part rather, this one just comes out naturally. Your brain doesn't even have to think about it before putting it out there. And most importantly this question was formed like that because it was about a woman and not a man- it's a fact. If it would've been a man in question here, we ( in particular I ) would've simply generalized it about the whole male population on the planet earth. So, here comes the first part of my Hypocrisy.
In a general discussion with my husband, I told him before knowing the whole story that this definitely would have had to do with the guy making the mistake & he as usual after listening to me patiently gave me a curt question to answer. Are you sure?
I seriously didn't have any reply. But in the subconscious mind, I was pretty confident that I would be right. Well, we'll talk about my confidence on this topic later. Let's just say this much for now!
After much deliberation and after finding out the whole story, I realized that my confidence was surely to be shattered.
Obviously after knowing the story, there were different kinds of questions coming to my mind again. What was the reason that she did it, was she not happy in the relationship? Was she not getting the love and affection and everything else that was needed in the relationship. What was it that made that lady, sacrifice her family, her kids and everything else that came with it? What was it that made her take such an irrational step in her life? What was it after all?
During the process of all these questions going through my head, I had one question pop and pose itself as the biggest one for me! and the question was that Why was I asking these questions in the first place? Why was I trying to justify the wrong she did? Why? Was it because I am woman and have always believed in the righteousness of women and that men are the ones who always do wrongs in a relationship? What was it that was making me give the women at large this liberty! Well, this by far was the biggest and toughest part of the whole thought process. Why does a woman get a chance to justify and give her reason when she cheats and not a man. Why does it become about just sex when it comes to a man and emotions when it comes to a woman??? This by far was the question that made me accept that we give unfair advantage to women when it comes to cheating.
Women do cheat ( I am sure, they are humans too after all ;)) but we always/generally have the soft questions for them to justify their act.What was missing in your relationship, why were you not happy? Were you Not Happy in the relationship? Were you not treated well in the relationship? etc etc etc.
Do we ever ask the Men, such questions? I don't know and I definitely doubt that. It's not about the statistics here, I am sure I have women like me out there, who would give an excellent argument about the statistics and what % of men cheat versus the women. But it isn't about the population at large, its about that person making the mistake! Isn't it. It's about what that person did to you, to the world and life you made with him/her.
